My hand still trembles as I write and strike-through to write ex-bestfriend for this letter dedicated to you. Each time I write it, it reminds me of the time we had promised forever to each other. ‘Bitches over boys’, remember?
I remember those days when we used to sit by each other’s side, even when quite and still used to know how the other was feeling. Because, you were the other part of me, the other part of my soul — or so I had thought.
Do you remember those times, when I used to feel low and you just knew how to cheer me up without even me telling me what to do?
I remember, shouting at each other and still staying strong as before because no matter how opinionated we were about everything, we were together. ‘Taking on the world together, forever.’ Forever?
You ditching me, was a dagger through my heart. You didn’t do that in one day. It was a slow poison, which spread slowly through me until realization hit and blew me apart into pieces. While distances increased, I thought the hearts were still the same but… it turned out to be a different story.
We were further away than we ever were.
It breaks my heart, wounds my soul every time I look at you or reminisce our memories together.
How did you move ahead? I don’t know. Because here, I’m still striving and trying to learn how to live without you.
Don’t they say,
Best friends are light’s ray,
Then, now you are gone,
Leaving me alone.
That afternoon when we sat beside each other, listening to music together from the same earphone, leaning on to each other, did we ever think life would bring us here?
Maybe someday, I’ll learn to be just happy with the times I spend with you. Maybe, you leaving wouldn’t hurt me as much, make me cry as much as it does now. Maybe, I’ll live like before again. Maybe, I’d even learn how to live better.
Because sometimes forever doesn’t mean forever.
Ours, wasn’t meant to be a forever.
But remember, if you ever need a shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold, I’ll be there waiting to take your hand. I’ll be there to embrace you. I’ll be there, just a call away.
| Open Letter To An Ex Bestfriend, From An Ex Bestie | ✒